I have started singing to the young ladies in my life ‘be careful who you decide to settle with, it’s a lifelong decision!’ It’s really sad to hear numerous stories of young couples who are enduring their marriages.

Sometimes one party says God spoke to them. I don’t dispute the fact that God speaks, but I know that God does not impose on us. If God has said this is your spouse and you see red flags that show the person is not ready, or doesn’t want to make changes in those areas, do you go ahead and get married to them?

God is not the one getting married. To avoid pain, wouldn’t it be better to go back to God who spoke and let Him know the person is not willing to be a husband or wife in the right sense of the word? Since God will not force a man, and since His thoughts for us are good, I believe that God will either ask you to wait for Him to work on the person or give you someone else.

No one is perfect. We all have our weaknesses, but for marriage, some weaknesses are destructive. Enough of us seeing some terrible behavior and ignoring it, hoping for change. Enough of us blaming God for our situations. He has given us a sense of reasoning, let’s use it.

Yes, the fact that there is no issue during courtship doesn’t mean issues will not come up after the wedding. Marriage is for better for worse, But the pain is more when a party sees a glaring issue before and ignores it, saying God spoke!

There is so much information out there today that this generation is blessed with. When I got married, we didn’t know what to look out for in the real sense of the word, God just had mercy on us. Now there’s enough godly information out there, please use it and save yourself pain.

This goes for both male and female. Don’t brush off what you know you can’t tolerate when the chips are down. Also work on yourself. Deal with selfishness and learn to speak wholesome words, deal with your insecurities. An insecure person will never allow the spouse thrive , and remember marriage does not cure insecurity.

If only we will all submit to the guide given by the author of marriage, and work to be better versions of ourselves, separation and divorce rates will drop.

Wisdom is key