The world is now a global village. One of the fallouts is that we can connect on so many virtual platforms. It has made it so easy to fall in love and start relationships beyond borders. Distance has been bridged by the internet, like video calls, voice calls, and messaging in real-time. 

We now have many people falling in love with people they have never met; and even though it’s a “global village”, physically traveling from one country or continent to the other tells you it is not. There are so many documents, visas, money to be spent, and other things to consider when you want to be in the same place. Therefore, they, have to keep the relationship going through all the telecommunication and other tech avenues to keep in touch.

Economic goals and the pursuit of the golden fleece have also caused couples who started physically together to live in separate cities and towns. Most of the time, it is a temporary arrangement or an arrangement that they hopefully feel will result in them ultimately coming back to live together; but it does not always work out this way. Some couples end up living separately for years on end.

It is a tough place to be, and it has its unique issues. Many relationships do not survive this long separation. Some relationships do and could be said to be thriving. What are the harsh facts you need to come to terms with for your long-distance relationship to thrive?

  1. Your communication skills are important.

Lack of communication is dangerous. ‘I don’t talk much” will kill the relationship so fast! As often as possible too, every day if possible. Communication is an art, learn more about it, read, research, and practice what you’ve learnt. Remember that words said when you are not in the same physical space can have a different meaning to your spouse, or be misconstrued. 

The sound or tone of voice and every inflection are important. The words you use, particularly when you disagree are also of utmost importance. You are not in the same bed, so there is no other way of resolving issues except you talk about them.

Everything you would have done with your eyes, body movement, or hands needs to be done with your voice. Be interested in the most mundane detail. 

2. You cannot afford to bear grudges.

Disagreements and grievances not sorted out are very dangerous for any long-distance relationship. You are already not together anyway, so it’s easier to shelve the matter and move on, doing your own thing. This will be the fastest way to part ways. If you are going to end up in the same house in the evening, it is very different from a situation when you don’t even know when next you will meet physically.

A good approach will be to deal with issues as they arise and move on with the relationship. Do not build a bustop and remain there, stewing in your anger. It will only give one more stress factor to your spouse who is also trying to cope and make the relationship work.

3. Assumptions are dangerous

A couple in a long-distance relationship who wants it to work cannot afford to make assumptions on each other”s behalf. Ask your spouse how they feel about things. The fact that they are not with you makes it doubly important. It also helps to bring you closer together.

It is important to evaluate the relationship honestly from time to time; both parties work on being more deliberate about meeting each other’s needs. There are a thousand and one people that you both meet daily. There is always a temptation to cheat. 

It would be great to make it easier for your spouse to bask in your love, by going out of your way to show them how important they are to you.

 

4. Have a life of your own

You or your spouse should never feel chocked or caged in because of the relationship. Enjoy your life, have friends, and have a life; this makes your conversations rich and fuller.

No one wants an obsessive partner who monitors their every move from a distance. When one partner refuses to live their life but remains fixated on the relationship, the risk of becoming obsessed is high. It is also dangerous because it may even begin to affect mental health.

Go out for events, have friends, go to the park, and don’t just sit by the phone or computer waiting for a call from your spouse and imagining what they will be doing at the moment. The fact that you are in a long-distance relationship does not mean you should always be alone. Other relationships need to be thriving for your love relationship to be healthy.

5. Give yourself room to vent sometimes

Yes, long-distance relationships are tough, there is no denying the fact. You can vent, and let it out to your close friend or family; scream if you want to, but don’t stay there for long.

Some people almost want to rub it in your face, others ask questions about your long-distance relationship out of concern. Sometimes simple regular things that people do around you remind you that you are in a long-distance relationship.

Vent, and let off some steam, so you don’t take it out on your spouse. Always remember that they are also finding it difficult. After you’ve had a good cry, life continues. Sometimes just spilling it out to someone has a calming effect on your nerves and keeps you hopeful. 

6. Special gestures

For a thriving long-distance relationship, special gestures are a good way of oiling the wheels of the relationship. Send a gift to celebrate milestones and special anniversaries and birthdays. 

The cost of the gift is not as important as the work that went into making the arrangements to send a gift even when you are not physically present with them. Your spouse will deeply appreciate the gesture. 

Offer help work on a project virtually, if it is in an area you are competent in or help in academic school. Find ways to connect beyond phone calls.

7. Your spouse’s Routine may not be the same as yours

Your time zones could be different, bedtime routines could be different. One person may be a neat freak while the other is all not particularly neat.

You need to figure out how to make it work so you spend more time together, and it’s perfectly normal to be out of sync when it comes to that stuff.

Don’t try to change them. Instead of spending precious time complaining about their scattered apartment, use that time to build your relationship. nitpicking won’t work, and it won’t do you any favors. Instead, be flexible and try to find ways to weave their habits into your day-to-day living.

In Summary

Every relationship needs a commitment from both parties for it to work. It is even more true for long-distance relationships. It is possible for your long-distance relationship to thrive if some of these points are considered and implemented. May your long-distance relationship thrive and bloom.